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School assembly area

A humorous account of a day in the life of one Loyolean by Bibhash Dash, XII ‘B’

Source: The Loyolean, Chp 6, Vol II, 2006

7:35: The tranquil of a slightly biting November morning is shatteringly destroyed by a derelict old scooterette as Balwant Singh, alias Bablu revs up his seven year old TVS Scooty, as once again, the grouchiest neighbour of Shanti colony, Mr. Udit is forced to grit his teeth in frustration at the bullet like noises emanating from Bablu’s two-wheeler.

7:36: Bablu is seen happily conversing with the local paan waala as recollections of the latest “setting” done by Bablu or the recent “blockbuster” to hit Payal Talkies, are doled out much to the delight of the regular hangers-on who earnestly pay attention to Bablu’s every word. That done Bablu sets off towards school. Yes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Bablu is a product of our very own Loyol School (12th grade to be precise) to the respect and adulation of many (fellow students) and the chagrin of others (teachers).

As the battered Scooty chugs into the parking space, one can just see the lines of students arranging themselves on the assembly ground. It seems that for once in what looks like 8 months, Bablu will finally be on time for the Monday morning assembly, a record that will probably stand for some time to come.

As the assembly comes to a close and the students walk back, Bablu is once again caught by Father Principal for failing to get a proper hair cut. Father, standing atop the century old podium, (which by the way is also used for the prize nite), gives him the once over with his usual penetrating stare, which would make even the most hardened of souls whimper with fear. Our Bablu is no different. Instantly he is treated to a crash course in modern admonishments. Father Principal believes that words no longer carry the same effect as a good hard stare. Hence he stares away to glory until Bablu. overcome by ten seconds worth of guilt quietly walks towards the gate, having realised that the sentence has been passed (that of going to Dhatkidih and getting the necessary cropping done).

8:00: The first period of the day. Arguably themost interesting of the day as more often than not, the class teachers bellow out the name of some poor soul who’s slated to be on the receiving end of yet another tirade of why the Homework and Classcleaning were not done. Usually this means that the main objective, i.e. studies, takes a backseat. A most enjoyable time for young Bablu, as he leans in towards his motley group of friends and collects the latest snippets about the various “hook ups” takingplace in and around the school. This is followed by an equally enthralling session of “lunch”, as every member of their group proceeds to bring out his tiffin, the contents of which are then analysed with such concentration and dedication that would make the Physics laboratory teacher stand with his mouth wide open.

10:00: Bablu seems visibly dazed as Differential equations, electromagnetism and Shakespeare have taken their toll on him. The recess bell rings with its distinctive jangle and Bablu lakes a well known shortcut to a favourite haunt of all Loyoleans in need of a relief.

30 seconds and an empty blatter later he seeks the second best location in all of Loyola: The canteen. As he enters, his extra sensory eyes pickout, amongst that multitude of laughing, shouting faces, some long forgotten classmate who just happens to be buying a plate full of samosas at that point of time not to mention a soft drink. “Ah!” he thinks, and owing to a lack of capability in the thinking department, doesn’t tax it anymore and simply proceeds to pick up two of those delicious samosas whilst clapping that “friend” on the shoulder with a resounding “Hi yaar, kaisa hai?” And after this rather informal (and unexpected) introduction, Bablu believes that their restarted friendship has reached the level where he can take a prolonged sip of the soft drink, by the end of which, prolonged takes on a whole new meaning.

His tummy filled, Bablu heaves a satisfied sigh and walks back to class, his arms around his new found friend.

11:00: Finally! After more than three hours, of strenuous studies, Bablu earns a vell deserved break via a free period, when the class council orannounces that the computer teacher is absent. As most of the class departs (some to the library, others to more cozy corners!), Bablu is seen wanly moving over towards a more appealing section ofthe class, the girls. He picks out the object of his 2 week affection, and having got her attention through an intricate display of muscle (evidence is seen in the number of chairs he shifts to get to her!), he blurts out the following, “grheashdsdssdsddds.”

Now for those of you scratching your heads in bewilderment, this is not some ancient tribal ritualistic love spell meant to charm the lady in question and cause her to madly rush into the “wizard’s arms. Poor Bablu is simply a “sod” when it comes to stringing two sentences together in front of the female department. The girl gives Bablu a confused look and this is no less than a Steve Bucknor LBW decision for him, which unfortunately, the Hawk Eye proves to be a “plum.” His head hung low, Bablu makes his solitary and despair filled way back to the pavilion.

12:00: Bablu can take it no longer. This, by far, has been the longest day ever that he has had to spend at school. All because of that stupid councilor, who just had to tell the teacher that over the past few months, Bablu had been happily avoiding the cleaning duties owing to a strange illness, which somehow seemed to crop up at the very moment that the cleaning began. Gnashing his teeth in obvious dissent of the class custodian, Bablu begins a matrix like display of moves that leaves the teacher gaping. Move over Morpheus and Neo, here comes Balwant, at his Kung-fu best!

12:30: A tired and weary Bablu kick-starts his Scooty and en route to his home pauses to sample some lip-smacking dosas from our very own Jaichand. Hurrah for vendors! His ever faithful friends join him and pretty soon, a large onion butter masala dosa topped with large amounts of cheese, is jumped upon by his ravenous mates. Thirty seconds is all it takes to wolf down the dosa and its not long before Bablu is introduced to the familiar adage, “A Friend in need is a Friend indeed,” as his friends conveniently exit the scene leaving poor Bablu to foot the bill (Rs. 23 to be precise!).

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Word of the Day

  • inanimate
    Definition: (adjective) Not having the qualities associated with active, living organisms.
    Synonyms: pulseless, breathless.
    Usage: I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body.
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